From Il-Seon's Diary (Spring Organization) 1964-2007

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Here is a translated selection from Mother Il-Seon's diary, intended for second-generation Korean Americans in North America:

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From Il-Seon's Diary (Spring Organization) 1964-2007

September 18, 1964 – Departure for Brazil from Busan Port (Friday) It rained after clouds. I came from Ulsan on the 16th and departed Busan Port at 3 PM today. My second life begins now. The ship is a 24,500-ton German vessel, the "Boissevan". We are expected to arrive in Santos in 53 days. There are also Japanese and Chinese immigrants on this ship. Among the Koreans, 33 are going to Bolivia and 43 to Brazil. We can only bring $200 for 4.5 people. Human greed is something else. My husband opposed bringing an extra $200, so it was in vain. Mr. Park  (husband) is so powerless. He can't even do what he wants in his own company. I've given up everything in Korea, so I should give up cleanly until the very end.

November 17, 1964 – Arrival in Brazil (Tuesday) We arrived in Santos at 7 AM. We disembarked around 9 AM. Due to customs, we arrived in Sao Paulo around 1 AM.

Layover points in 1964: Busan – Okinawa – Hong Kong – Singapore – Porto – Douala (South Vietnam) – Penang – Mauritius – Lourenço Marques – Durban – Port Elizabeth – Cape Town – Rio de Janeiro – Santos All diary entries from the immigrant ship journey were recorded.

October 5, 1975 – Reasons for Believing in Communism I felt that the scientific methods pursued by communism could realize a paradise on earth, rather than just keeping the heaven envisioned by religious people in a separate realm. This is why I, a liberal, chose to sacrifice my most important value, freedom, and obey the party line. In other words, I believe this is the fastest way for our people (the majority) to live well quickly. However, not everything is resolved by material well-being. The desire for spiritual fulfillment, mental joy, and understanding the universal order of humanity will intensify as worries about food and clothing disappear. The era where everything could be solved by material means, as Marx and Lenin thought, has passed. Society should be human-centered, not material-centered. Only a rationalized society, both materially and spiritually, that is human-centered will be a truly ideal human society. Environmental pollution is a serious issue in the process of industrial development and is absolutely crucial from the perspective of building an ideal heavenly paradise. Solving this problem is impossible under a capitalist economic system. However, it can be solved under a communist system, and I am convinced of this because I witnessed its implementation in the northern region. This is also one of the reasons I decided to follow the communist line. However, I anticipate that the realization of a beautiful and emotional society, which humanity strives for, will be slow under this system.

1979 – Age 58 (Born 1922, full 57 years old)

January 5, 1979 – Feeling an Extraordinary Power – Feeling a Calling for My Homeland Humans are truly mysterious creatures. They are also ever-changing. I seem to be having strange premonitions. I have changed so much since recovering one night last summer from a state where my body moved but I wasn't fully conscious (it was a miraculous state). Is this the work of some invisible force, preparing me for a great task after overcoming the worst physical and mental crisis? Right now, if I don't waver and follow my inner voice, I feel I can do something greatly helpful for my homeland. Let me follow my heart, one step at a time.

March 12, 1979 (Monday) – Juche Ideology I watched a documentary about an ideal village in Scotland. I think communist society is also being built with such hope , but when power is involved, weak humans make mistakes. The point is that even if one person becomes perfect, guiding humanity to live in paradise on earth would be difficult, but every few hundred years, a leader appears to guide and save humanity. However, the era where only a specific person leads is passing. A time is coming when everyone becomes their own master , and in that sense, North Korea's Juche ideology seems to hold significance for future humanity.

March 19, 1979 (Monday) – Humanity's Self-Destruction in the Future One day, humanity will become extinct on this Earth. Before that, a world government will emerge, and all nations, no matter how small, will become independent. Women will secure their rights, and eventually, a matriarchal society will come. In the economic society, people will work according to their abilities and receive supplies according to their needs. Humans yearn for freedom, but freedom without order will restrict freedom, so it will be an ordered and controlled free society. There are two paths to humanity's demise: self-destruction through war, and natural changes (though strictly speaking, these might also be self-inflicted). No matter how I think about it, it seems we will go down the path of self-destruction. The liberation of women completely liberates men.

March 25, 1979 (Sunday) – Women's Alliance. Shamanic Beliefs The Women's Alliance meeting ended successfully around 3 PM with nine attendees. On this day, we resolved to send a message supporting the liberation struggle of Iranian women. I believe I spoke well according to my convictions that day. Our country's unification must be achieved without bloodshed. Our revolutionary sacrifice was sufficient during the Korean War , and not killing Park Chung-hee would have allowed for successful post-unification development. Of course, there would have to be trials. Regarding religion: shamanic rituals and revival meetings are psychologically similar. Local beliefs shouldn't be dismissed as mere superstition. After speaking my mind about many things to various people, I feel relieved. If I can be of even a little help to others, like a Buddha everywhere and a service everywhere, then I consider it fortunate.

April 1, 1979 (Sunday) – Kim Ku's Message for Inter-Korean Talks The March 1st spirit suggests that when the oppressed are saved, the oppressors can also be saved simultaneously. It is an undeniable reality that without resolving the conflict of the Korean nation, which arose from the contradictions of world history, we cannot find a clue to resolving the contradictions of human society. Kim Ku's message: Approximately 700 representatives from North and South Korea gathered in Pyongyang in April 1948 to discuss the establishment of a unified interim government. On April 16th of that year, after overcoming various obstacles to attend the meeting as a representative of South Korea, Kim Ku crossed the 38th parallel. The following message he delivered to the people of South Korea still resonates with us : "If separate governments are established in the North and South, a great tragedy will occur. Whatever its name, a single government established in South Korea will surely be crippled, and how can we pass on such a crippled government to our descendants? I am not ignorant of personal honor. Nor do I not feel the personal danger approaching every moment. However, I cannot stand idly by while the nation falls into ruin. That is why I am going to Pyongyang". Kim Ku's efforts did not bear fruit. Instead, his participation in that meeting became a cause for his assassination by an assassin unleashed by the government at the time. This happened on June 26, 1949. The tragedy of national fratricide he feared erupted exactly 365 days later, on June 25, 1950.

April 24, 1979 (Tuesday) – Criticism of American Arms Dealers Reading "Structural Corruption" in Munye Chunchu fills me with hatred for American arms dealers. This reinforces my conviction that capitalist society must surely collapse. The American people are sent to war for these arms dealers.

August 5, 1979 (Sunday) – Sejin to Learn in North Korea Sejin's problem won't be simple. This summer course ends on the 13th with the submission of a paper , so I wish he would go to North Korea and get himself together. I should talk to him about it.

August 6, 1979 (Monday) – Thoughts on Moving to North Korea When I suggested that moving to North Korea would be the most hopeful way to resolve our family issues, my father said he had also considered it.

August 21, 1979 (Tuesday) – Purpose of North Korean Visit / Desire to Contribute to Education of Overseas Koreans Kim Jeong-geun asks me why I don't maintain strict neutrality , but at this point, who is the right force to lead our nation forward? In the current situation, we must help the side that is still moving in the right direction for the nation to achieve unification as quickly as possible. If this situation continues for too long, the nation's energy will be consumed by internal division. If the means and methods are wrong, they can be corrected, but if the direction is wrong, it will only lead the nation back into misery and hardship. Kim Jeong-geun says that those who visited North Korea last time were only politically exploited by being made to stand on the stage at the Moranbong Theater, and then were isolated in the Korean community after returning. It's clear that I will be isolated again after this visit, but I still must go. By going, I will fulfill a role (the fact of going to and from North Korea). There, I can broaden the perspectives of the people and help them correct their methods by thoroughly explaining how people abroad view and evaluate North Korea, pointing out aspects they may not have considered. I also need to observe and converse more clearly myself. **** From now on, I should primarily focus on helping with the education of children in the Korean community. Since others are reluctant to interact with me, I will write anonymously and submit articles to newspapers. I will encourage parents in individual households to submit their problems anonymously , and instead of counseling them myself, I will facilitate a mood where Korean residents themselves (parents and children) can offer solutions and collectively think and research. I believe this is the best work I can do.

August 24, 1979 (Friday) – Human Revolution When the human revolution is complete, a world federal government (world republic) will be established. The human revolution must encompass social revolution, religious revolution, sexual revolution, and educational revolution. Among them, educational revolution is the most important , and when the educational revolution is achieved, the future era of the masses will arrive.

September 28, 1979 (Friday) – UN Membership – Federal System I don't intend to contribute to inter-Korean negotiations. Instead, I want to help establish the only peaceful way to unify without bloodshed, as stated in the July 4th North-South Joint Statement : by joining the UN as "ONE KOREA" and maintaining the current "TWO STATES" for the time being, gradually starting exchanges wherever possible to erase the 38th parallel in people's minds. However, this atmosphere of "if you're not with us, you're against us" not only divides the nation but also leads to mutual distrust and the fragmentation of the entire population. It seems that unification will be truly difficult for the older generation in this state. If this continues, war will surely break out again.

September 29, 1979 (Saturday) – Misunderstandings in the Korean Community Mrs. Kim (Kim Jeong-geun's wife) says she is very concerned about the rumors circulating about me in the Korean community. "She receives funds from North Korea and acts as their puppet". "She is the exact opposite of what she appears, and she uses that appearance to interact with people". These words are malicious tactics by the South Korean government to isolate me. However, our ignorant people never even dream of analyzing the truth, and fueled by jealousy and envy towards me, they are fabricating and spreading these malicious rumors. I need to mentally prepare myself to overcome this ordeal. (***** At the time, my second son-in-law, Young-hoo, strongly complained that his activities were restricted because of Il-seon).

October 10, 1979 (Wednesday) – Education on Homeland for Overseas Korean Children From 7:30 PM, at the 6th-floor auditorium of the City Education Office, I listened to Mr. Koh Kwang-lim's talk on how he guided his children , organized by the Education Problem Research Group, the Korean Culture Research Group, and others. He proudly mentioned that when he visited his son studying in Oxford for two years, his son had a Korean flag and photos of his grandparents and parents on the wall. It's certainly true that dialogue is important, and creating an atmosphere for studying is also correct. For first-generation Korean students overseas, it's good for their identity to learn their mother tongue and visit their homeland to discover their connection. When asked what to do for second-generation Korean Americans and Korean Canadians who say "I am American" or "I am Canadian," he couldn't give a good answer. The principle I think is best for guiding our Korean children living overseas is this: They should have deep roots in their homeland (which means having many opportunities to encounter their homeland's culture) , and be guided to embrace a global humanism, realizing that "the world is one and humanity is kin". If they are guided in this way, I believe they can live mentally healthy and confident lives, doing anything.

October 7, 1979 (Sunday) – Eugene's Departure for England Today is the day Eugene leaves for England. After breakfast, Young-hoo also came, and we took Eugene to Rockefeller University. We explored the city and met again at 5 PM at the harbor where the Queen Elizabeth ship was docked. We took photos by the ship and wished him well on his journey before he went inside. He waved goodbye to us from inside the ship, and I took a 7:20 PM flight home.

October 23, 1979 – Eugene's First Letter from England Eugene's awaited letter arrived today. It was sent on October 16th and arrived on the 23rd, so it took 8 days. He wrote on the 16th that it had been about three days since he arrived in Oxford , so it seems he entered his room about a week after departing New York at 6:45 on the 7th. It's remarkable and commendable that he followed my instruction to write only in Korean. He said, "I get along well with my supervisor, but he's not a very profound person. He has written many books". "The Queen Elizabeth was like a hotel, and there were 42 people in our group. We had parties every day. Most of them weren't very profound. There were many smart kids. But few among them had deep, pure hearts. How's your mother's health? You need to be extra careful since you're alone. I love you. Eugene". Eugene has embarked on his life's journey. What kind of life will unfold before him? I wish he would live with a deep, pure heart, and be brave and strong, just as he said. A pure human, the noblest human, is a pure human.

December 13, 1979 (Thursday) – Eugene's Letter – Mother's Love and Success A letter from Eugene arrived. I had written in my previous letter that I regretted not having work I could be interested in throughout my life. He replied, "Instead, you raised us," and included a part of a poem he wrote for me. "Do you remember that day when I was little when you told me the story of the wise mother who upon being asked of her greatest treasure called for her children, not her jewels". "Our greatest treasure is you, Mother. What is success? It's love. The hardships and struggles you endured are now gradually being repaid". What is true success, really? Even if one has honor, status, and wealth, if there is no love, it's nothing. The most precious thing in life is affection , but while we understand this conceptually, we usually don't know how to give or receive it in real life.

1980 – Age 59

January 9, 1980 (Wednesday) – Decision to Attend Won-Buddhism Meeting If the meeting for friendship between North and South Korean women, organized by the Women's Alliance, moves forward to be held in Pyongyang, I will visit North Korea this year. Although attending the Won-Buddhism meeting felt a bit early, I decided to attend. Even if there are only a few Won-Buddhists, if people learn and gain strength by attending from the first meeting, the number of attendees will naturally grow. I decided to guide the meeting by having the Choi couple explain Won-Buddhism teachings, while I share insights gained from my life experiences in various fields like religion, education, and politics. I hope this will serve as a starting point for some community, and I will strive for that. As it stands, I don't feel inclined towards either North or South Korea as my homeland. If a foundation can be laid here for our overseas Koreans to lead happy lives by forming an ideal community, what could be better? I will actively work towards this.

March 20, 1980 (Thursday) – Regarding Eugene's Trip to Korea I had a long talk with Eugene this morning. He seems to have matured a lot mentally. It seems that during his time in Oxford, he deeply felt what it means to be Korean. That's why he wants to visit Korea. He believes that South Korea is too corrupted to be purified by ordinary means. I think if Eugene maintains ties with the Emissary Group and connects with Won-Buddhism in Korea, working with those involved in the democracy movement, a purification movement can gradually take hold and grow into a significant force over time.

April 28, 1980 (Monday) – Regarding Eugene's Trip to Korea (2) My father said that since Chun Doo-hwan has become a government official and is at the center of military and civilian power, it would be better for Eugene to go to Korea next year. But Eugene says he wants to go this year. I will trust Eugene and let him do as he thinks best. I won't say anything like "do it" or "don't do it". By overcoming difficulties and pushing through, he will develop his capabilities. It's good for him to go there and directly observe and experience how his homeland is changing amidst the whirlpool of transition, and to study. The key is whether the Korean embassy will issue him an entry visa. Even if he goes to Korea, his relatives and my friends might not welcome him. Still, if he gets the entry visa, it would be good for him to teach English at an English language institute and study some Korean before returning.

May 11, 1980 (Sunday) – Subscribed Newspapers, Magazines Subscribed newspapers and magazines as of May 11, 1980: Segye, Munye Chunchu, Shin Dong-A, Han-Young, New Korea Times, Minjung Shinmun, Korea Journal, Canada News, Hankook Ilbo (Korea), Overseas Hanminbo (New York), Dongnip Shinmun (Philadelphia), Hankook Ilbo (Washington), Chosun Tongil Shinbo (Tokyo).

June 13, 1980 (Friday) – Letter from Eugene – Realized Content Eugene's much-awaited letter arrived. The letter, written on May 29th, arrived on June 13th, so it took 16 days for the airmail from England to Canada. When we talked on a long-distance call, he said he was becoming a Buddha , and reading this letter, he truly seems to have attained enlightenment. It's truly a joyful and overwhelming event. They say that if even one monk or priest emerges from a family, the entire lineage is saved. Now that I have a son who has attained enlightenment, the salvation of our family is certain, but I also earnestly pray that he becomes a force for salvation for many people. He wrote eight pages in small handwriting, so it must have taken him a lot of time to write. I should make photocopies and send them to Ok-kyung and Eun-myung.

June 17, 1980 (Tuesday) – Publication of Eugene's Letter I had agreed to have Eugene's letter serialized in the newspaper before returning, but after thinking about it overnight, I decided it would be better for his spiritual development if it passed quietly. So, I called Mr. Jeon and conveyed my wishes. Mr. Jeon said that people in the New York Mi-ju Min-yeon (Korean-American Democratic League) thought I still had some connection with the Minjung Shinmun. He also said they knew I attended the Minjung Shinmun's first-anniversary party and donated money. Mr. Jeon himself must have been the one who told them that. Mr. Jeon also talks about Mr. Hong. I vow not to treat people with such a narrow mind as them. There's no law that says it has to be black or white. Humans have diverse thoughts, and without generosity and human love to understand different views and hold conversations, there can be no peace. I will analyze where I have lived incorrectly so far and strive not to repeat mistakes by being swayed by others' words. I must never succumb to evil. I will not be swayed by what others say.

July 17, 1980 (Thursday) – While Eugene is in North Korea While Eugene is in North Korea, I need to contact him quickly to make sure he studies Korean and teaches English.

July 18, 1980 (Friday) – While Eugene is in North Korea (continued) At night, I called the representative office and asked them to convey to Eugene that he must study Korean while he is there.

August 27, 1980 (Wednesday) – Eugene's Arrival in Toronto from Chicago When I arrived in Toronto from Chicago, Eugene was unexpectedly at the airport. We were happy to meet, talked at home, and then slept at 3 AM.

August 28, 1980 (Thursday) – Eugene In the evening, for the first time in a long time, the whole family, except Ok-kyung's family, had dinner together and chatted. Eugene said he had returned as an adult. It seems Eugene learned a lot this time.

August 31, 1980 (Sunday) – Eugene I talk to Eugene whenever I have a chance. He comes home late every night because he's out meeting friends.

September 1, 1980 (Monday) – Eugene Eugene said he sent letters to three people in Pyongyang besides me, through someone (from a Middle Eastern country), but no one has received them yet.

September 2, 1980 (Tuesday) – To Live for Others On September 2nd, I told Eugene that Buddhism has two branches: Theravada Buddhism and Mahayana Buddhism. Theravada Buddhism focuses on rigorous training to discipline one's own body and mind to achieve enlightenment for oneself. Theravada Buddhism is established in countries like Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. Mahayana Buddhism, on the other hand, is established in countries like China, Korea, and Japan. This Buddhism believes that by going among the masses and training with them, one can save them and be saved oneself. I follow this path and worship the image of Gwan-eum (Bodhisattva of Compassion) as the object of faith on this path. I told him that I would be their fertilizer, so they should grow into great trees and bear good fruit using me as fertilizer. *******I have already achieved my own liberation. If I only thought of myself, I could cut ties with family and society and live a transcendent life, immersed in reading. However, I cannot find meaning in sitting idly on a hill while those around me struggle in turbulent waters. Until now, I have striven for my own liberation, but from now on, I must walk the path of saving others.

September 3, 1980 (Wednesday) – Felix's Prayer Photo A letter arrived from Ok-kyung, who is in Indonesia, after two months. I was worried and even sent a telegram, so I'm relieved she's safe. Seeing Felix's photo of him praying in the Islamic style, his innocent posture brought tears to my eyes. The reverent attitude of humans towards some existence in the universe gives an especially solemn impression. Erick went on a tourist visa, so he won't be able to stay long. I'm worried.

September 4, 1980 (Thursday) – Future Society September 4, 1980. Self-help theory – Other-help theory / Capitalism – Communism / Theism – Materialism. Humans are spiritual beings with physical bodies, so they cannot be definitively classified as one or the other. In the future, instead of choosing one path, we should research how to combine the advantages of both to achieve harmony in human society.

December 1, 1980 (Monday) – Eun-myung's Letter – Understanding and Gratitude for Mother – Il-seon's New Resolve On December 1st, a letter came from Eun-myung. "I deeply heeded your words in your last letter, Mother, and reaffirmed my commitment to apply them in all aspects of my life. The liberation of women means the liberation of humanity, and that is the shortcut to human liberation. Also, the liberation of women means humanity's liberation from the unconscious and passive shackles, entering the world of conscious and active free individuals. Furthermore, the fact that this awareness of the problem entered my experience directly through your experiences, Mother, who awakened before me, rather than through books, is living knowledge. All these points firmly support me as I grow into a revolutionary within current social education. In other words, I clearly recognize that your spirit, Mother, endured long years of conflict and became a victor, entering deep into my soul and finding eternal life in my soul and in the souls of those who will succeed me. I now inform you, Mother, with a grateful heart, that all the problematic issues between you and me have completely disappeared from my mind. I also acknowledge before myself and others that this fruition is entirely due to your deep love and strong will, Mother, and I dedicate all the glory of contributing to humanity, which will be achieved in the future, to you, Mother. I happily imagine that you, Mother, who played the role of a single grain of wheat, will accept my confession, and I will conclude here". **** Reading Eun-myung's letter, I reflected on myself once again. I hate myself for repeatedly falling back into conflict after thinking I had transcended it. Since I can't hate anyone else, I despise myself and wander in conflict. Now, I vow to finally put an end to this cycle. When I escape this conflict, I will become a completely free person.

December 18, 1980 (Thursday) – Un-ah's Education Un-ah is very sensitive and easily shy, but on the other hand, she likes flashy things and has a bold personality. As she is sensitive, she also has a lot of fear. If her bold personality is well developed, her fear and shyness will disappear, and she can grow into a bold yet meticulous person.

December 26, 1980 (Friday) – Reflecting on Past Years On September 18, 1964, I left a rainy Busan Port. After two months, I arrived at Santos Port in Brazil. From Sao Paulo, until I left for Canada on October 12, 1968, for four years, I lived simply to survive, unable to distinguish between east and west. Since arriving in Toronto in October 1968 until today, exactly 12 years and 2 months have passed, and there have been many changes. Ok-kyung, Eun-myung, Sejin, and Eugene are all studying in graduate school, so none of them have finished their studies yet. How will things change in the next 10 years? I think living until 70 is enough for my life, so by then, everyone should have found their direction.

1981 – Age 60

January 9, 1981 (Friday) – Tongyeon/Yeodong Policy This year, the first "Tongyeon" meeting was initially requested to be held at Choi Hong-ui's house due to space issues, but it was decided to hold it at Kang Won-jin's house. This time, several new members have joined, and it was decided to also hold a "Yeodong" meeting together. Tongyeon has many tasks as an active mediator in unification issues from the perspective of overseas Koreans, and also as a bridge for cultural exchange, politics, economy, and education. Yeodong discussed focusing on developing women's consciousness and cooperating in educating children at home. Another suggestion was to start a separate Korean community for those with Canadian citizenship, excluding those who say "My homeland is the Republic of Korea".

January 14, 1981 (Wednesday) – Eugene's Letter – Love for Mother Eugene's letter, written on January 4th, arrived today. It contained two poems in English expressing his earnest love for his mother. Although I don't fully understand their precise meaning, the warm affection flowing from his heart transcends words and writing and flows into my heart. It lights a fervent flame of love in my heart, like igniting the wick of a lantern in oil. I must spread this flame of love burning in my heart to others.

January 30, 1981 (Friday) – Eugene's Letter – EAST WEST SOCIETY A letter came from Eugene. It was sent on January 22nd. Reading Eugene's letter, I am once again grateful and happy to have such a son. The following passage in Eugene's letter truly aligns with my thoughts. How can it be so? It feels like a miracle. "The EAST WEST SOCIETY I organized is not a political organization as you might think, Father. Although it ultimately aims for a WORLD ORDER, it is not an organization that hopes to fix a decaying society. It's an organization that leaves what's rotten as it is and nurtures the new shoots that emerge. If you try to fix what's rotten, there's a high chance you'll get sick yourself. Mother, when you work, please work with people of the highest integrity. There are countless organizations in the world, but the problem is their quality".

February 19, 1981 (Thursday) – Dream of Mother's Passing February 19, 1981. Today is the day my mother in Ulsan passed away. When she passed, I had a dream here in Toronto. I saw a completely withered old tree with sparse branches standing tall in the calm waters of a familiar bay. As I wondered why such an old tree was standing in the sea, I was startled awake by the sound of it crashing into the water. After waking from the dream, I lay there, thinking, and felt a sudden pang in my chest, realizing my mother must have passed away. I felt uneasy but tried to forget about it. A few days later, a letter from my older sister arrived, informing me of my mother's passing. This is one reason why I believe in human intuition.

February 20, 1981 (Friday) – Conflict with Husband / Dragon Dream Story Today, Sejin came for lunch, and we talked before she left. The gist is that Sejin's negative personality is the root of all her troubles, so unless she cultivates her own mind, the problem won't be resolved. As for me, I can only continue to extend a loving hand to her as much as possible. Sejin is my child, so no matter how she treats me, I can only continue to give her love. But I can't do that with my father, so I get annoyed and lose my peace of mind in my own conflict, repeatedly feeling heartbroken. The day I find a way to escape this and overcome the friction with my father, the day I transcend everything, will be the day I can live in paradise on earth. Whenever this happens, a childhood dream story comes to my mind. *** When I was six or seven years old, I had a dream. I was in the barley field near my house, going towards Simpo, carrying a basket and a knife, wearing a traditional skirt and jacket with rubber shoes, digging for wild chives. Suddenly, a huge dragon, like one I had seen in a picture (I don't know how I had seen such a picture then), with two whiskers, wriggled its body and ascended into the sky, flicking its thread-like tongue. I was so startled that I plopped down backwards. I didn't see its tail completely fly from the ground into the air as it slapped the ground. I woke up startled, and it was a dream. That dream has stayed in my memory ever since I was a child.

March 27, 1981 (Friday) – Human Revolution is the Top Priority March 27, 1981. At 8 PM, at O.E.S.E. 401, I listened to a speech by Pastor (Dr.) Lee Hwa-seon from West Germany. I think he is a truly sincere and upright person. Everything he said was reasonable, but I particularly resonated with his statement that "unification is a national revolution and a human revolution". When I met Dr. Hwang, I said that the problem is not about ideology but about people , but without a human revolution, true national liberation is impossible, and therefore unification is also impossible. As this pastor said, it will be difficult but will surely happen , and at that time, good will conquer evil, and it will be paradise on earth. Right always prevails.

April 9, 1981 (Thursday) – Visit to Oxford Arrived at London Airport in 6 hours and 30 minutes from Toronto. Traveled to Oxford by bus, train, and taxi. Eugene and his friends followed by bicycle.

April 10, 1981 (Friday) – Praise for Kim Il-sung April 10, 1981. Eugene and I walked along the river, talking about various things. We sat on a bench made from a tree trunk by the river and talked a lot. He said I wouldn't recognize how much he'd changed. He also said he doesn't read many books these days, perhaps losing interest in the books that have been written until now. Eugene says that a very new era is dawning, and President Kim Il-sung is a truly great figure, one of those rare individuals like Jesus and Buddha who appear in the human world. The coming world will be a new form of kingdom , and one form of that will be a nation centered around a king with Juche ideology, surrounded by party members, which North Korea is realizing. He says the Emissary Group also holds the same idea and is training people to rebuild the world after its destruction. Eugene is probably right. If you don't understand this, you might mock what North Korea is doing. Won-Buddhism seems to be another example of this kind of thinking.

April 29, 1981 (Wednesday) – Approval of North Korean System April 29, 1981. I wrote a letter to Eugene. I only had one opportunity to talk quietly with Eugene when I went to England this time. Eugene said he felt the truth there and realized that President Kim Il-sung is an outstanding figure, and that the people's worship of him comes from their sincere hearts. He agrees with the succession to Kim Jong-il , saying that North Korea will be the ideal state of the coming world. He said that there will be a patriarchal figure at the top of the party organization, and under him, party members will loyally serve the nation, just like loyal subjects served the king in the past. He said that Western democracy also has flaws and that it will be a new form of country. Maybe so.

May 2, 1981 (Saturday) – Pro-North/South Faction Newspaper Jeong Hae-soo's special contribution, "Our Overseas Koreans Should Be Pro-North and South," clearly articulates the attitude people working for unification should take, and it brings me relief.

May 4, 1981 (Monday) – Praiseworthy Mother Award May 4, 1981. The Korean Association called to inform me that I was selected as a "Praiseworthy Mother" this Mother's Day. I don't feel particularly grateful or pleased, and I feel a bit awkward. So many mothers work hard to raise their children. I merely learned, knew that love is the foundation of education, practiced it, and lived cautiously. And for my children to live their lives with the right attitude is a great reward for me. I don't particularly like being talked about. It's awkward to accept it, and it's also awkward to refuse. Anyway, it's awkward.

May 12, 1981 (Tuesday) – Un-ah's Realization It's true that there was a change in Un-ah's heart, but what caused it? She saw the "Praiseworthy Mother" plaque and asked, "Can I also become like that later?" I replied, "Of course, you can!" Then she asked how people know such things. I answered, "People know everything, good or bad" , and she listened silently. She has been quite different since then, so perhaps that brought about the change in her heart. Anyway, it's a very good thing.

June 4, 1981 (Thursday) – Completion Through Un-ah June 4, 1981. Un-ah reflects what I do, so I vow to complete myself through Un-ah and guide her on the right path. And again, if my body is tired, my mind control isn't good.

June 28, 1981 – Conversation with Kim Yong-ok – Family Matters Yesterday, Kim Yong-ok, Sejin, and Eun-myung visited Dr. Kim Jae-jun together. From 7 PM, we had a conversation with Mr. Kim Yong-ok at the Min-geon gathering place. Listening to Mr. Kim's lecture, I once again realized how different "good" and "bad," "right" and "wrong" have been throughout history, depending on one's perspective and values. **** I talked about my personal life struggles, and he shared stories about his parents. He talked about how his mother used to go for dawn prayers every morning, taking him along, and how he saw her crying, appealing to and relying on God and Jesus. Listening to this, I suddenly realized something. My troubled mind was calmed, and I realized once again that my own spiritual growth is the only way to resolve the difficult relationship with my father. My destiny (karma, cross) is to serve this person in this life because of past karma. From now on, I vow not to disturb my peace of mind, to do as much as my health allows, and to give up anything beyond that, without complaining.

July 13, 1981 (Monday) – Where is My Life? July 3, 1981. Looking back on the past, I think I have lived very diligently. Then, when I ask myself "for what," it was to raise my children and help my husband live. Was that all? What have I done for myself? I have striven and striven for self-completion, but it has been a repetition of falling down and building up again, only to be destroyed. My own convictions, which I thought were solidified by those close and far, shatter because I am not firm myself. I regret, reflect, and rebuild the crumbled tower. For my convictions not to be destroyed by others, I need to have a steadfast psychological state of desirelessness. All desires! If all desires are eliminated, doesn't the will to live also disappear? Isn't living about having desires and striving to satisfy them?

July 23, 1981 (Thursday) – Making a Stamp Album for Un-ah I told Un-ah that I would buy a stamp album and make one for her with the post stamps her grandmother collected as a souvenir, and she liked it and is waiting. If I start it and she continues, in a few decades, it will also become a fortune.

July 25, 1981 (Saturday) – Kim Yong-ok's Letter Kim Yong-ok's letter, brought by Sejin, revealed the greatness of his heart. Most importantly, Sejin liked meeting him, and the fact that she met someone she could like for the first time in her life was the most joyful thing. From now on, my worries about Sejin will also disappear. What remains is the issue of my father, and ultimately, as Mr. Kim wrote in his letter, if I am saved, my father will also be saved.

August 15, 1981 (Monday) From 7 PM, we held a lecture and discussion night commemorating the August 15th Liberation Day. Topics: "Unification and the Mission of Overseas Koreans". Speakers: Dr. Seonwoo Hak-won, Dr. Min Byeong-hwi, Dr. Song Seok-jung. Venue: Ontario Education Centre.

September 2, 1981 (Wednesday) – Un-ah Returns to Her Mother Un-ah left today at 5:50 PM on Air Canada. It's been exactly one year. During that time, her body grew a lot, and she learned many things. While she was with me, she brought me joy, but it was physically demanding as my stamina is lacking. I hope the influence Un-ah received from me during her year with me bears good fruit. Un-ah asked, "Grandma, will you cry at the airport?" When I asked why she asked that, she said, "Because I've never seen Grandma cry".

November 8, 1981 (Sunday) – Charging Energy November 8, 1981. Today, I left home at 9:40 AM to attend the King View Farm service starting at 11 AM. I always drive to practice driving. I had lunch there and received attunement therapy. At today's service, Bill Porter read a sermon titled "Radiation" that Martin Cecil gave in Green Ivy. The story was similar to what I always thought, so even though I don't understand English well, I could intuitively grasp what it was about from a few words. I believe that some energy permeates this universe, and that energy is maintained under a certain order. Looking at electricity, one type of energy we can see, just as connecting a plug to a socket connects electricity, I believe people also have some energy within their bodies. I think attunement therapy is a treatment that accumulates more energy in the body through training and intensive training. I could express my thoughts on this energy as "radiation". / unify radiation of spirit.

1982 – Age 61

January 14, 1982 (Thursday) – What is Living? January 14, 1982. My father's back pain still hasn't healed. He asks me if I find life interesting. He seems quite empty. What can I do when he's only now reflecting on what living is, after having lived so much? / I think living is a natural phenomenon , so isn't it simply about entrusting my life to the flow of nature and following where it leads? There's no point in searching for the meaning of life; one simply adapts and follows.

January 17, 1982 (Wednesday) – Reading Since January 1st, Rodong Sinmun has been delivered, and today seven issues arrived at once. My father reads the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra, and I read the Jeongsan Jongsa Beop-eojip.

January 30, 1982 (Saturday) – End of "Yeodong" Role At the end, I announced the creation of the "New Korea Times" support group and that Mrs. Kang would take over the practical work of "Yeodong". Mrs. Kang distributed membership application forms to the various wives. Those who wanted to join would. With this, my obligation to "Yeodong" ended.

February 1, 1982 (Monday) – Change of Direction February 1, 1982. At Sunday's meeting, Mr. Jeon Chung-lim asked if I had received a notice to buy and send a gift for Chairman Kim's birthday in April. I said I had received one. I think it's inappropriate to do such things under instruction, unless done voluntarily, and I don't think doing so is right, so I said I wouldn't. ***** In the Toronto Korean community, I am being ostracized (this is an unjust action by the South Korean government) , and I am distrusted by the North Korean side. Furthermore, seeing such unjust actions by North Korea, and the inability to form deep human bonds with the people I meet, along with my father's psychological state, among other things, I have concluded that I must change my direction. I have decided to form deep bonds with truly kind, sincere, and wise people, and to stop actively trying to associate with others.

March 17, 1982 (Wednesday) – Emissary Philosophy Resonates March 17, 1982. Whether it's capitalism, communism, Christianity, Buddhism, or any other ideology or religion, if we want to build a good society on earth for diverse people, all these ideologies are necessary, and all kinds of religions must exist. However, human wisdom is needed to transcend all these diverse things, to know how to talk without fighting, and to respect others' opinions. I think a new philosophy that transcends all these things needs to emerge. I feel I can find that philosophy in the spirit of the Emissary. I will look forward to it and continue to study it more closely while living with those people. Until my dying day, I will strive for a world of peace without conflict, a world that transcends ideologies, beliefs, and religions, and moves towards a world government, without leaning to one side or the other.

April 18, 1982 (Sunday) – Emissary Philosophy as the Foundation for National Unification April 18, 1982. I believe this great historical task will be accomplished when individuals ignite the fire of love in their hearts, let that fire ignite in others, and pursue their self-completion, and when such people unite. ***** When I realized that the Emissary's philosophy aligns with my own thoughts, I immediately felt I was saved. Actively participating in the Emissary and striving for the salvation of humanity is, at a smaller level, for my own salvation. Next, I believe that unification of my nation is impossible outside of this path. Those in power should first give up their personal selfishness. In that sense, the July 4th North-South Joint Statement holds great significance, and the North-South federal system for unification is the most appropriate method.

October 31, 1982 (Sunday) On the 28th, another letter came from Eugene. In his previous two letters since returning to England, the hearts, rainbows, and other drawings he used to color with colored pencils on the letter paper and envelope were gone. I felt a change in Eugene's heart and mentioned it. In this letter, he drew them again. I didn't feel disappointed that he hadn't drawn them; rather, I felt a change in his heart and the feeling that he was fully grown and moving on. I hadn't wanted him to draw them again. I should write that in my next letter.

1983 – Age 62

January 19, 1983 (Wednesday) – Eugene's Independent Spirit January 19, 1983. Eugene's letter dated January 7th arrived today. The phrase "Dear Father and Mother" at the beginning of his letters has disappeared from this letter onwards. This must mean he has completely transcended blood relations. He has grown in mind and body and has completely become an adult, flying freely into the world, like a young bird leaving its nest. But as a parent, my feelings are a bit different. I will continue to write "To my beloved Eugene" and "With much Love, Mother" in my letters to Eugene. Because my feelings haven't changed.

January 28, 1983 (Friday) – Printed Materials from North Korea The newspapers, magazines, and books sent from North Korea, plus those sent to Sejin that come to our house, are so numerous that the mailman asked us to put a large mailbox outside. If my father and I are both gone, it will be difficult, so if they continue to send them, I may have no choice but to return them, thinking of the time when I won't be here.

March 27, 1983 (Sunday) – Reading The Challenge of Islam and Other Books March 27, 1983. I started reading The Challenge of Islam (G.H. Jansen / Translated by Cho Hyung-jun). I have ordered The Mystery of the Quran and Revolution from Within (J. Krishnamurti). I know quite a lot about Buddhism and a bit about Christianity from reading the Bible, but I know nothing about Islam, so I'm very interested. Religion cannot be separated from humans, and since there are various religions, knowing them helps one understand humanity itself.

April 6, 1983 (Wednesday) – Let's Cultivate the Power of Love April 6, 1983. It's good that my father has come to have someone to talk to, but I need to test if the peace of mind I've cultivated so far will be broken. I need to continue to diligently strive until my mind is undisturbed by any stimulus. To do that, I need to fill my heart even more with the power of love. If energy filled with the power of love becomes the driving force, I can handle any difficult task without my mind being disturbed. Going to Boston and guiding Eun-myung, Sejin, and Jeong-soon correctly to solidify our family's unity won't happen in a day or two, so let's steadily work on it. Maintaining the right attitude in my heart can only be proven by action, so let's strive diligently.

August 30, 1983 (Tuesday) – Reconciliation with Husband August 30, 1983. While the children were arriving, my father and I talked about various things. After we got married, we tried to live well, but there were many times we hurt each other. So, I asked him to forgive my faults, and he said he was happy. He even said he wanted to meet again if we were reborn. He also said his mind was at peace and he wasn't afraid at all. When I told him to recite "Namu Amita Bul" (Praise to Amitabha Buddha) in his mind, he moved his lips and recited it. Still, my heart felt no disturbance, so tears suddenly flowed down.

October 23, 1983 (Sunday) – Conversation with Eun-myung October 23, 1983. I talked with Eun-myung for a long time this morning. The problem is that both of us have faults, but we also tend to see the other's good points negatively, and we lack gratitude. Living harmoniously and peacefully is so difficult, so how will world peace be achieved? It will happen as it happens, but I wish things would be a little better.

Unification Issue: "Witnessing the formation of unification entities. In the upcoming unification situation, it is necessary to prepare for a people-led unification to ensure a healthy path. We need to jointly respond to foreign powers and build consensus within the nation. North and South should learn from and respect each other. South's 'trained freedom and technological civilization,' North's autonomy and equality. How to harmonize these noble assets... If the North falls, the South also falls. The role of the overseas unification movement - the expectation for overseas figures who go back and forth between North and South to objectively interpret aspects that the parties involved in the division cannot see with a balanced perspective... Ham Seok-heon's historical faith, Chang Chun-ha's national faith, Kim Jae-jun's practical theology, Park Hyung-kyu's liberation theology, progressive theology."

1983-2000 The 1990s are completely missing (Note: Sejin's focus).

2000 – Age 79

January 10, 2000 (Monday) – About Systems January 10, 2000. I read an article about 'systems' in the January issue of Shin Dong-A. Although it's a word I always hear and use, reading that article made me realize something new. This is because I clearly realized that we, from the vast cosmic system down to single-celled microorganisms, are repeatedly coming into existence and disappearing within some system. Understanding this system would also be the path to enlightenment. Management science began in the United States, and now system theory is beginning. If you understand systems, you know all the order and can work, so it's natural to be ahead.

January 22, 2000 (Saturday) – Grandchildren's Education Ho-dol and Yong-su had a delicious lunch nearby and then came home and talked for a while. I read them newspaper articles I had collected for them. I read about a 13-year-old immigrant girl who wrote "Korean kids are so pitiful," and her father's story about educating children. I also showed them photo articles about why cigarettes are bad for the body and how difficult it is to quit once addicted.

April 27, 2000 (Thursday) – Erick, North Korea Needs Him "April 27, 2000. I thought it was a reply letter from North Korea to Erick's company in the US, which had attempted contact with the North , but it was actually a letter from North Korea asking what they needed and how much had been developed through research in the US. This is a tremendous thing. I immediately sensed that the issue of unification between North and South is the key to achieving world peace, and this work could play a role in that, and Erick has a role to play. I immediately felt my heart swell. It was a moment when I instinctively knew that Erick was chosen as a person to build an ideal world. I decided in my heart that I should let him stay at our house when he comes to Toronto, even if it's difficult for me. I realize that God has been training me until now to use me for something."

May 6, 2000 (Saturday) – Feeling Camaraderie with Erick "The sun is out and it's going to get hot. Today it feels completely like summer. When I thought of Erick as a guest, it was awkward, so I couldn't invite him to stay at our house. But when I think of him as someone who works with me for the construction of an ideal society, someone to help mentally, my feelings change so much. I am surprised myself at how much I've changed, and my level of consciousness seems to have grown significantly in an instant."

June 18, 2000 (Sunday) – Un-ah's Birthday Gift June 18, 2000. It's raining and cool. Tomorrow is Un-ah's 25th birthday, but we celebrated her birthday tonight at Mirak. In Un-ah's birthday card, I explained the cosmic reality of a grub turning into a butterfly, and with a heart of earnest prayer, I gave her the principle of the universe, where she can transform her 'body' through the trials of life.

July 6, 2000 (Thursday) – Experience of Becoming One with the Energy of Heaven and Earth July 6, 2000. This morning, during my 103 bows practice, I experienced becoming one with the energy of heaven and earth, and tears of joy burst forth. This was the reward for attending the AVATAR MASTER COURSE this time.

July 9, 2000 (Sunday) – Officiating a Wedding "From 2 PM, in a spacious area overlooking the sea on the hotel lawn, a special wedding ceremony was held with some of the AVATAR attendees as guests. I readily accepted the request to officiate, which I had never done before, to bless the future of the two young people. I replaced the entire ceremony with a single congratulatory remark: 'Eliminate secondary concerns and move forward for primary happiness!'".

December 27, 2000 (Wednesday) – Ok-kyung's Life and Heart "December 27, 2000. A card came from Ok-kyung. It included two pieces of writing by Un-gang Ok-kyung from November 2000. 'Longing Heart' – The woman feels happiest when she spends time with her children, when she works for her children, when she prepares food and washes clothes for her children, and sews on missing buttons... **** This woman cannot live in the same house as her children and has to work in another city during the week. After dinner, when the sun sets, she misses her children terribly. Her heart feels empty, so she calls her children, but they are all busy with their own lives. Her heart might be empty, or they might just be busy with their lives. This has been going on for almost 10 years. A nail has been hammered into a corner of that woman's heart. A longing heart, an empty heart. Why can't she fill that emptiness with something else? Does a person's heart have different places for each loved one? Modern women are said to not be bound by family or children, focusing on their careers and finding satisfaction in their own growth. This woman even earned a doctorate for her career. However, her doctorate did not make her a modern person. Is it because her longing heart is too great?"

January 23, 2001 (Tuesday) – Eulmil-dae Painting January 23, 2001. When I went to North Korea in 1995, I bought a painting called "Moonlit Night at Eulmil-dae" from a shop in the lobby of the Kumgangsan Jang-an-sa Hotel. It inspired me. I had it framed for $500 and hung it on the living room wall, always enjoying looking at it. Vana wants it, so I'm thinking of giving it to her. It would also be part of my training to release attachment. I wonder if Vana knows my feelings or not. Probably not.

February 11, 2001 (Sunday) – Dream of Riding a Horse "February 11, 2001. I dreamt of riding a horse pleasantly. I was cantering, and my breathing with the horse was incredibly in sync. After that, I also dreamt of crying uncontrollably. I felt good after waking from the dream."

May 18, 2001 (Friday) – Reciting Cheonbugyeong May 18, 2001. This morning, when I opened my eyes in bed, the sunlight reflected off the window and shone brightly on my face. I recited the Cheonbugyeong three times while receiving that sunlight on my face, and I felt really good.

2001 (1985 – Standing Alone) – Deep Meditation Experience "I gradually began to realize that body and mind are one, not separate. When my mind was at peace and I felt good, my body had no problems. When I play music and fall into deep meditation, a feeling of joy rises like cumulus clouds within my body, filling my mind and body with beautiful emotions, like the red light of the rising morning sun or the evening glow of the sunset sky. I have experienced this feeling several times. I decided not to force anything or try to create a rhythm in daily life."

2001 (Emotional Healing) – Emotional Healing "Emotional healing. My spiritual journey until now has been like a mountain climber ascending a mountain because it is there, aiming for the highest point and climbing again and again. Emotional healing aims to unearth and heal the negative aspects accumulated unconsciously within me, establishing my complete true self. Eun-myung began this work to solve her own problems, and based on her experiences in solving them, she opened an emotional healing clinic. I, along with Vana and Tom, began emotional healing, which involved a 180-degree shift from my previous mind-body training that focused on positive aspects, to addressing my negative aspects. Through this work, I realized that all emotions (joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure) are actions of energy. Emotional healing was the process of making conscious the negative energy deeply submerged in people's unconscious, which they themselves were unaware of, and expelling it to dissipate. I experienced that the human body and mind work as a pair, so negative mental elements immediately appear in the body and are named as illness".

May 31, 2001 (Thursday) "I began to consider selling this house to cooperate with Dahn Hak Seonwon (meditation center) to build a Cheonhwa-won (Garden of Heavenly Transformation)".

July 5, 2001 (Thursday) I will consider the issue of purchasing land for multipurpose use, which I plan to do with the Dahn Center, as the final training in my life. My current intuition is that the possibility is 50:50. Let's approach it with an open mind. And I earnestly pray to the gods of heaven and earth to help me, my family, my nation, and humanity, as this small endeavor is the beginning of a great work.

September 11, 2001 (Tuesday) – 9/11 Terrorist Attacks "This morning, Eugene called and asked if I had seen the TV news. He said the World Trade Center in Manhattan, New York, had been bombed by terrorists. Not only that, but other places had also been attacked. Such things happen when the US becomes strong and arrogant. If the US doesn't take this as an opportunity for self-reflection and choose a path where all humanity can live well together, instead of just themselves, a third world war will break out. This incident will determine not only the fate of the US but also the fate of humanity. Humanity develops in this way, but if a wrong judgment is made at some extreme point, everyone will perish. All day, the news on TV kept saying 'America is under attack'".

October 20, 2001 (Saturday) – Journey of the Soul The master instructor also told me that when meditating, if I recall the image of my teacher, Master Lee, I can receive more energy. In my journey of the soul until now, during my student days, I liked Tolstoy and read his books, and I also liked Leonardo da Vinci and read books about him. When I was in the dormitory at a women's university in Japan, I admired the life of Maria Teresa and carried her photo. I disliked pictures of Jesus on the cross, but I liked pictures of Buddha and decorated my surroundings with them, but I never meditated by recalling their images. I sometimes attended Won-Buddhism temples, and after reading the scriptures three times, I felt that the teachings of the Great Master were conveyed in very simple language to awaken the ignorant masses. So, even though I don't attend the temple now, I still have the "Il-won-sang" (One Circle) picture from Won-Buddhism hanging, and I look at it, thinking of it as a symbol of the reality of the universe.

October 21, 2001 (Sunday) – Donation to Dahn Hak Seonwon Not Possible Master Lee said that partnerships with others cause many problems, so they are not allowed, and he spoke of donating everything to the meditation center. Master Lee said that I should donate but would still need to cover my living expenses. However, when I later spoke with Reverend Yoon, she said that was not allowed either. That would mean I would have to sell my house in a roundabout way to donate to the center, and I don't think I can do that. My original plan was to ensure my children, who are not shallow-minded people, could understand and live the life I aspire to. But if I comply with the center's demands, my children will surely complain, so I cannot do that. Therefore, I called Reverend Yoon and Master Jang Jae-myung (Bohwajung) and informed them that I could not proceed according to the center's wishes for now.

February 5, 2002 (Tuesday) – Morning Prayer Every morning and evening, lying in bed, I perform a ritual. One of the things I do is to chant, "I am an infinite spiritual being. I can do anything I want".

February 13, 2002 (Wednesday) – Morning Meditation "When I open my eyes in bed in the morning, I meditate and do exercises in bed. I also continue to do 103 bows every day. I have several chants, and among them, I repeat '100% positive thinking makes miracle!' to the bone. When this completely becomes mine, I will achieve the purpose of my life".

March 8, 2002 (Friday) – Study, Reading March 8, 2002. I am enjoying reading From Harvard to Hwagyesa, a Journey of Practice. I am also enjoying Kim Yong-ok's Laozi and the 21st Century. These days, I find studying by reading these books and watching tapes very interesting. My age, 80, is no obstacle to me. Every day is interesting.

March 10, 2002 (Sunday) – Treasure Within Me "March 10, 2002. 'The treasure within me!' 'The treasure within me!' 'The treasure within me!' I knew I had a treasure, my true nature, within me, but reading these words in a book today opened my heart wide, and an endless joy welled up within me. So, I was truly happy today".

March 15, 2002 (Friday) – What I Realized in the Virgin Islands Today, I rented a truck and went to the beach 20 minutes away. After lunch, I drove 10 minutes to another spot and did different activities. At the first place, I caught small sea snails on the rocks by the water, while Eugene caught three large conch shells and one small one. I had seen large conch shells before, but this was the first time in my life I had seen such large, living ones. And seeing conch shells embedded in the rock crevices by the sea, like old fossils, I was so surprised and wondered about it. Then, a realization suddenly came to me. ***Although I had known in my mind that the universe is one and all things exist within it, I was once again shockingly moved by the realization that even these conch shells, embedded in the cement-like concrete rock, are alive. We brought the conch shells back and asked Mag, Sejin's host, to take them out. We sliced them and made a salad for dinner tonight.

March 19, 2002 (Tuesday) – Mother's Love for Animals – About Meat-Eating "March 19, 2002. In the past, when our family had completed immigration procedures for Brazil and was temporarily renting a house in Dongsung-dong, belonging to a general (who was an ambassador to some country), a deer came into our garage (with an injured leg) and hid. Someone we knew heard about it and asked us to hand it over to him, but we refused and contacted the zoo. A zoo employee came to our house, took the deer, treated it, and put it in a cage at the zoo with a sign saying who donated it. I visited it before we left. I remembered that. In my childhood, my mother used to say that sometimes deer would get caught in fishermen's nets in the sea, and bad things would always happen to those who ate such animals. When we were about to leave for Brazil, she was so happy, saying how well we did not to harm the deer that came into our house and instead let it go. I deeply felt my mother's instinctive love for nature. This made me wonder if we should eat meat. The crescent moon in the sky is beautiful, and the stars are so lovely. I think again about the fish returned to the sea (recorded during a trip to the Virgin Islands with Eugene and his wife)".

March 20, 2002 (Wednesday) – The Earth is Alive "March 20, 2002. When Eugene said it was good and asked me to go, I thought there must be a good reason, so I decided to take this trip with Eugene. The beauty of the underwater world I saw here is completely different, a beautiful world of a different dimension. I wonder if the difference between this life and the next would be like this. What I discovered on this island is that 'the Earth is alive'. It was an actual experience of seeing that all things are alive and connected to each other. This is a great achievement of this trip".

March 21, 2002 (Thursday) – The Earth is Paradise At my Albany house, when early summer arrives, I turn on the water in the backyard to create a stream, and I enjoy listening to the sound of the flowing water. After a while, beautiful colorful birds fly in from somewhere, drinking water, bathing, and singing. Watching them, I deeply realized that this Earth is made as a paradise. I reflected on that thought again while playing with the fish in the sea.

March 26, 2002 (Tuesday) – Bloodline, Permanent Neutrality and Peaceful Unification of North and South "March 26, 2002. I wrote a reply letter to my third daughter, Young-hee, from my younger brother Hyung-woo. Although I have never met my niece, it's truly amazing how we are connected by blood. I know that each person creates their own life. I concentrate my mind on the permanent neutrality and peaceful unification of North and South Korea. I pray and pray. I believe that a dike can collapse due to an ant hole, so..."

March 31, 2002 (Sunday) – Connection with Nature "March 31, 2002. I decorated the corals I picked up from Anegada coral island in appropriate places. People like it when I give them the corals I brought. They can feel the sea through them and connect with nature. However, in a corner of my mind, I wonder if those corals would prefer to remain in their original place. Was it better for them to be in their original place by the sea, being eroded by waves countless times until they became sand? No, this is just my own thought. They are content to be as they are, wherever they are".

April 10, 2002 (Wednesday) – English Study When I go to the meditation center, if there's waiting time, I study English words from the printed materials on the wall. I repeat them, but I often forget them quickly. Even so, I repeat them whenever I have a chance, listen to the radio while eating, and always read the "one-minute English" serialized in the newspaper every day. Although I can manage the minimum, I can't have long conversations, and I often don't understand due to a lack of vocabulary. Nevertheless, I'm glad that I can understand this much because I've been consistently trying.

June 14, 2002 (Friday) – Republic of Korea! – World Cup June 14, 2002. As I walked onto Bloor Street to go to practice, cars honked and the Korean flag fluttered. I felt a tingling sensation in my body. Ah! Ah! I thought, Korea must have won the soccer match. As I got closer to the Korean street, the excitement intensified. Korean shops hung Korean flags, people waved Korean flags in their hands, and cars honked, shouting "Republic of Korea!" as they sped by. My chest grew warm and fluttered, and hot tears streamed down my eyes without me realizing it. It's strange how I cried even though I was happy and feeling good.

June 23, 2002 (Sunday) – Excitement "June 23, 2002. These days, all Koreans, including myself, are exhilarated. The repeated victories of the Korean team in the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup mean more than just 'winning'. It has raised the consciousness level of the Korean people and served as a wonderful 'gut' (exorcism) that released accumulated resentment. Furthermore, the splendid cheering attitude of the 'Red Devils' cheering squad moved the hearts of people worldwide and played a healing role. This is the true essence of 'Shinbaram' (divine wind), the tradition of the Korean people. The Japanese say that Japan was protected from invasion by 'kamikaze' (divine wind) , but our people truly had 'Shinbaram' (divine wind) latent in their souls. That Shinbaram burst forth through the soccer cheering. This wind is the wind that saved the nation and will save humanity. I feel it. It's so, so, so good. My soul rejoices. I also talked with Ok-kyung on the phone and had many conversations with Eugene. Now the positive wheel has started to turn".

July 4, 2002 (Thursday) – Avatar Meeting July 4, 2002. I rested well and then attended the AVATAR members' picnic in the afternoon. They had created a spacious area, laid out grass, and even installed a roof to make a stage. A famous flute player from America came and played the flute incredibly well. The sound of his flute, along with the vibration of the fundamental rhythm (yullyeo) resonating within him, harmonized with the cosmic vibrations, reaching my heart and evoking a feeling of joy. A large white dog joined the people and sang along with the flute music, going "woo-woo-woo". It was wonderful. When people return to their pure true nature, true peace resides within them. People sang songs, shared the food they brought, and the various BBQs were delicious. People strive and work with all their might to eat well and live well, but the conditions for living peacefully without excessive greed are already all set. People just need to realize and enjoy it. I will fully enjoy these given conditions and live.

July 14, 2002 (Sunday) – Energy Dance – Moment of Sprouting Happiness July 14, 2002. In the evening, at Vana and Eric's house, Eric Choi from LA made spaghetti and salad. Twelve of us, including AVATAR leaders, had dinner, sang, and danced. We had a great time and returned around 10:30 PM. Eric Choi from LA had gotten angry before the course ended and left without finishing, but we barely managed to persuade him to finish. After dinner, I sang the "Twelve Thousand Peaks of Geumgangsan" song and danced the energy dance. Everyone followed me and danced. Afterwards, he came to me, shed tears, hugged me, and said he understood "what happiness is". I was so happy. It was a moment of an awakening soul. I was truly happy. As I dance the energy dance, it feels like the cells composing my body are smiling. Now, it feels like dancing. From now on, I will not keep this feeling to myself but will share it. I am truly happy.

October 24, 2002 (Thursday) – Justice Prevails Justice prevails. The order of the universe, though it may seem unfair in the short term, is fair in the long term. Is this not the law of cause and effect?

April 13, 2003 (Sunday) – Vana's Acting Class Begins April 13, 2003. Vana called. The conclusion was that she wants to be an actress playing Asian roles her age in America, so she contacted a school in New York, which accepted her. She said she told Eric, and he said it would be fine. She asked me what I thought. When I heard that from Vana, I felt that this was the most suitable path among all the things Vana had wanted to do until now. Vana has energy, talent, courage, and a lot of experience. She also has the highest education. She has undergone training to heal the many emotional wounds she suffered coming this far. From now on, she only needs to master expressing herself physically, laying all of that as a foundation. So I told her I would help her with $50,000 Canadian dollars for the down payment on an apartment in New York, and she liked it. Vana's consistent vitality has brought her this far, and now a new life for Vana is beginning. This path will be much harder than anything Vana has experienced before, but Vana will succeed. It's exactly like a mountain climber; the higher they climb, the harder it gets. The joy of reaching the summit will be extraordinary, though. I wish her well.

April 25, 2003 (Friday) – Prayer is the Creation of Ki (Energy) April 25, 2003. Prayer is the creation of Ki. The trilateral talks between North Korea, China, and the US have begun, but there's such a vast difference in views between North Korea and the US from the start that divine assistance from heaven and earth is absolutely necessary to reach an agreement. I must dedicate myself even more sincerely to the daily "creation of Ki for permanent neutrality and peaceful unification of North and South Korea and for world peace, and for the success of the six-party talks". My existence is for that purpose.

June 23, 2003 (Monday) – Impression at Dahn Healer School and Dream of World Government "June 23, 2003. The sky in Sedona is blue and warm. I started my morning practice outdoors in the Mago Garden, and the sky was so blue. On top of that, the morning sun was shining brightly, and a beautiful crescent moon hung in the sky. These people practicing in such a beautiful environment are truly blessed. I thought, 'I am truly blessed,' and tears started flowing again. I cried a lot during the practice. As I cried, I vowed to heal myself and contribute to the nation and the world with my healed energy. I have harbored the dream of 'world government' since I was 17. These days, that dream is gradually becoming a reality. As a step towards that, the era of Northeast Asia must open, and the world will move towards a world government through bloc formation, taking on the concrete form of a powerful 'world government'. Living with such a grand 'dream' makes life truly interesting. The number of attendees at the 'Dahn Healer School' this time was 52. Tonight, we had a party for those who were finishing 'Dahn Healer School' today. We popped champagne, cut cake, and everyone had a joyful time together. Despite being tired, I joined the dancing and danced up a storm".

July 14, 2003 (Monday) – Life's Duty is to Meet the Light "July 14, 2003. Soul's bungee jumping. The universe is the homeland of my soul. Earth is the homeland of my body. I bungee-jumped from the infinite universe and fell into the embrace of my physical mother. The duty given in life is simply to come to the world to meet that light. When that light is met, all tragedies turn into blessings, and those who have seen that light no longer worry about anything".

September 23, 2003 (Tuesday) – Writing a Will Today at 2 PM, I finally officially wrote my will alone for the first time in my life at Lawyer Cho Mirae's office. The lawyer's fee for writing the will was $300.

October 28, 2003 (Tuesday) – Future of the Korean Peninsula "After the six-party talks, where will the Korean Peninsula go? I pray, 'Success for the six-party talks! Success for the six-party talks!' What is the 'success of the six-party talks' that I wish for? It means that a peace agreement and a non-aggression pact will be signed between North and South Korea, and the severed railway will be reconnected. This railway will extend through China and Russia to Europe, and a gas pipeline will be brought from Russia, passing through North Korea to South Korea and Japan. As a result, South Korea will become the economic center of East Asia, and North and South Korea will achieve permanent neutrality and peaceful unification. Consequently, the world will achieve peace. Absolutely no gas pipeline should enter South Korea via the West Sea!"

December 29, 2004 (Wednesday) – Realizing My Calling The feeling of being protected by some power gradually grew stronger. The conclusion of my life so far: I am living with a peaceful mind, fulfilling my sense of 'calling'. We (all of us here) are blessed people. Mencius realized his 'mandate of heaven' at 50, but I only encountered my sense of 'calling' at 80. Although the history I've lived until now is important as a reference, what matters most is my present existence. I read a lot of books since childhood. Throughout my life, books have been my teachers and friends. I believe that instilling a habit of reading in children is providing them with the second most precious guide in life.

January 17, 2005 (Monday) – I Have a "Backup" "Backup" – Back. I have a backup. I have a great invisible backup. Its power is immense. However, the power of that force depends on how much I believe.

July 1, 2005 (Friday) – Arrival in Paris Arrived in Paris, met Eric and Vana at the airport, rented a car, and drove about three and a half hours to the house where Roland's grandmother and grandfather used to live for a long time, which they had prepared for our family.

July 5, 2005 (Tuesday) – Starting to Dream of Jeju Island "Ms. Yoon Soon-ja tells the children what tasks they each have to do. She's doing very well. I trust her. Her attitude of living while practicing is very trustworthy. I think about where to live in Jeju Island. I have started to dream of moving to Jeju Island now. Yong-su came by train from Paris, and Felix rented a car to pick up Eugene and Marsha. Now the family members are: 1. Me, 2. Eric, 3. Ok-kyung, 4. Felix, 5. Marina, 6. Marina's friend, 7. Vana, 8. In-geun, 9. Yoon Soon-ja, 10. Ye-myeong, 11. Jeong-to, 12. Mrs. Choi, 13. Eric Hansen".

July 9, 2005 (Saturday) – Un-ah's Wedding Day "July 9, 2005. I woke up at 6 AM and went to the bathroom. I washed my face, went back to bed, and earnestly prayed to the gods of heaven and earth for clear weather today. Today is Un-ah's wedding day. Perhaps it was because I prayed so earnestly for no rain, but it didn't rain, and everything ended wonderfully. There must have been about 250 guests! We had a simple, serious, and very special wedding lasting about two hours, officiated by a priest from Africa, in a very old church in Normandy. The bride, Un-ah, wore a gold Korean skirt, a white jacket, and a white traditional bridal headpiece. With her bridal makeup, her classical beauty was even more emphasized, making her dazzling. We held a brief Korean traditional ceremony, 'paebaek,' expressing gratitude to the parents, at the site preserving the remnants of a large cathedral destroyed during the French Revolution by angry commoners who harbored resentment towards the cathedral priests. After the 'paebaek' ceremony, six people from Africa played unique drums and danced. Their performance, set against the historical backdrop, was so splendid as a natural stage that one couldn't help but admire the harmony of nature. The reception was held on the second floor of one of the buildings , and the delicious food blended perfectly with the atmosphere, making it very elegant. Un-ah took off her traditional bridal headpiece and jacket and changed into a new bride's outfit with decorations in her hair, looking incredibly pretty. Downstairs, we watched a slide show of photos of Roland and Un-ah from their childhood until now. I returned to the hotel a bit early to wash up and rest".

August 6, 2005 (Saturday) – My Heart Leans Towards Jeju Island Calculations show that the money I spend living in Canada would go further if I lived in Korea, so my thoughts of moving to Korea are solidifying. Economic reasons are the first , and the second reason is that I need help from others to write the book I intend to, and it seems easier to find such people in Korea. Third, Yeon-tae's restaurant is by the sea, so it's a familiar place. Next, I can "100% expect the help of heaven and earth's energy," so I just need to empty my mind and follow the pull of "heaven and earth's energy". I have the "backup" of "heaven and earth's energy," so if I just trust in that power and follow, everything will be OK.

August 21, 2005 (Sunday) – Peace Agreement. Prayer Currently, North and South Korea are in a state of armistice, having signed a 'ceasefire agreement' to halt the war. The task at hand in this fourth and sixth round of talks is to conclude a 'peace agreement' in exchange for abandoning nuclear weapons. Every day, morning and evening, I pray. I concentrate my energy for 'permanent neutrality and peaceful unification of North and South Korea,' gathering my energy into one with the energy of heaven and earth. I have been doing this prayer for decades.

August 28, 2005 (Sunday) – Life Plan in Jeju Island I want to live in a place with a beautiful ocean view. "I have decided that my final residence will be in Korea. My life's purpose is to complete my role as a healer, both large and small, while practicing mind and body training".

September 2, 2005 (Friday) – News of Chun-woo and Hyung-woo Brothers' Reunion I called my younger brother Chun-woo in Seoul and heard the story of how he met our younger brother Hyung-woo, who came from Pyongyang, at Mount Kumgang, after 55 years. Chun-woo brought In-sook and their son Sang-hoon , while Hyung-woo came alone. They met at Onjeong-ri in Mount Kumgang. They slept separately at the hotel at night but met during the day to talk. It didn't seem completely free, though. Still, he said they had many conversations , and that Hyung-woo wasn't unfamiliar because Chun-woo had seen the photo I sent him. Chun-woo receives 1.3 million won in pension each month , and he gave Hyung-woo 500 US dollars (500,000 won) of that. In-sook offered to give him some money, but Hyung-woo asked her to send it through me.

September 4, 2005 (Sunday) – Cheonggyecheon Restoration – Exciting News "Reading the Hankook Ilbo article. The thought of Cheonggyecheon, which used to be covered by concrete in the middle of Seoul, being restored and clear water flowing through the heart of the city makes me excited. And seeing the photo of the 'Nung-haeng-ban-cha-do' (Royal Procession painting) made into tiles fills my heart with thrill and joy. The heart of the Korean Peninsula is pulsating. It's so good".

September 25, 2005 (Sunday) – Seon-yu's Passing and Byeong-gu "Seon-yu and Byeong-gu. Byeong-gu called from Vienna. He said there's a 6-hour time difference between Vienna and Toronto. After Byeong-gu's mother, Seon-yu, my closest friend, passed away, Byeong-gu and I decided that he would be my son. What can I say about how it feels to have another son? It feels secure and heartwarming. Seon-yu and I became friends after entering Japan Women's University in Tokyo in 1939. After the entrance ceremony, I found the assigned student, Dong-jo, and learned there was another Korean in my class. We remained friends until she passed away. Seon-yu and I were one year apart (she was born in 1923), and I remember Seon-yu got married on April 7, 1943, and I got married on July 14. Seon-yu had her baby, Byeong-gu, first, and I gave birth to Ok-kyung the following year, on February 5th. Throughout our long lives, Seon-yu lived in America, and I came to Canada via Brazil. We always kept in touch by phone. Now, we are forever separated, and she has left me with a son, Byeong-gu, in her place. Life is truly something".

November 24, 2005 (Thursday) – Il-seon's Article in Hankook Ilbo "I sent 500 US dollars that In-sook wanted to give to my younger brother Hyung-woo, in three separate envelopes of $100, $200, and $200, along with a letter. I should make copies of the three checks for $500 US dollars from In-sook to show Hyung-woo when I go to Korea. Today, Kim Woon-young, the president of Hankook Ilbo, published an interview about me in his 'This Person' column. 'Grandmother Lee Nam-soon, who raised four Ph.D. siblings, her novel-like life's 'memoirs' written by a 'New Woman' who studied in Japan - Settled in Toronto in 1968 - Visited North Korea in 1975 - Reunited with father'. Kim Woon-young".

December 1, 2005 (Thursday) – Arrival at Jeju Airport At Jeju Airport, Mr. Hyung-seop, whom I met last time at Sunrise, came to pick me up. He said Ms. Soon-ja couldn't come due to time constraints. We enjoyed the beautiful road lined with silver grass from Jeju Airport to Seogwipo, had many conversations, and felt pleased when we arrived at the tangerine farm and saw the tangerines hanging on the trees.

December 10, 2005 (Saturday) – Sightseeing in Jeju Island. Ideas for Jeju Island "December 10, 2005. Yesterday, with Ms. Soon-ja, I went to an island off Seogwipo City in Jeju Island and took a submarine to see various fish and corals. I had seen a sea made of corals on a coral island in the Caribbean with Eugene and Marsha several years ago, so I compared it. But how can the corals in the sea be so different from place to place? Nature is truly beautiful. I took photos and completely entrusted myself to Ms. Soon-ja and to nature for a while. Yet, I still think about the mission given to me. The Earth is becoming polluted, both land and water, in the name of development. People are only now beginning to realize the seriousness of it, but it seems not many people know that the disaster that will befall humanity as a result is caused by the pollution of people's minds. Only when people awaken to this reality will a solution open up. I asked Ms. Soon-ja for a concrete plan for farming that several people could do together. I believe Ms. Soon-ja and Mr. Kang can be trusted, so I plan to hear their plan and add my ideas to move forward with the work. My heart seems to be solidifying towards working with them. Younger people have their own work to do, and I have my own work to do. Let's try for the next 5 to 10 years. Let's demonstrate my great skill that I've cultivated throughout my life. For myself and for humanity!"

December 11, 2005 (Sunday) – Dream of a Seated Buddha Resembling a Jeju Harubang. Let's Realize the Dream in Jeju Island "December 11, 2005. Dream of a Seated Buddha resembling a Jeju Harubang. Let's realize the dream in Jeju Island. I had a dream last night. I saw a seated Buddha resembling a 'Jeju Harubang' (stone grandfather statue) on a riverside hill where water flowed. I went back and brought someone, unrolled a vinyl sheet nearby, folded it to an appropriate size, and had the person carry it back with me. After waking up, I felt very good. It's a prophetic dream and seems related to enlightenment. It's a dream of receiving spiritual energy, intertwined with the Buddha statue and the 'spirit' of the Dolharubang, the symbol of Jeju Island, with someone else. 'Faith'. It seems I will put into practice my 'faith,' which I have pursued throughout my life, constantly climbing higher and higher towards that high place, here in Jeju Island. I have never taught anyone by speaking in public since graduating from university, except for my experience teaching childcare at Dongdeok. However, I have consistently cultivated and practiced mind and body training in my daily life. I will likely unfold my faith, which I have cultivated, to adorn the last chapter of my life here in Jeju Island".

January 3, 2006 (Wednesday) – Bilderberg Group – Towards World Government "Among the articles in the January issue of Shin Dong-A : Samsung's Benchmark: Sweden's 'Wallenberg Group' – Future over profit, society over family. Respected by the public for its clean 5th-generation hereditary management. The ultimate goal of the Bilderberg Group is to gather the world into one government. In this context, the Bilderberg Group has also been the force behind accelerating European integration. The Bilderberg Group's proposition of 'one government for the world,' a phrase I read in a book when I was a girl and has been etched in my mind ever since, excites my heart. I believe this is the ideal humanity should strive for".

January 4, 2006 (Thursday) – Visit to Brother Chun-woo's House "When I entered the room where my sister-in-law was, my very frail sister greeted me, shedding tears. While my sister and I were talking, Chun-woo arrived. Chun-woo has also aged a lot. Chun-woo brought photos taken with my younger brother Hyung-woo, whom he met at the separated families reunion in Kumgangsan in July, after 55 years. He said Hyung-woo's face was tanned and he was thin when they met. We had lunch together, prepared by In-sook, and the three of us—my sister, I, and Chun-woo—talked endlessly about old times until around 4 PM, when we got up and left".

January 16, 2006 (Monday) – Sightseeing with Brother Chun-woo After watching a movie, we passed through an underground shopping center and found a bookstore where I bought the book 'The Alchemist' for 11,000 won, which I had wanted to buy. Since Chun-woo and I didn't have time to choose books together, we decided to come back later to buy more. We went to a restaurant and ordered 'Oden Jeongshik' (fish cake set meal) for lunch and dinner. As we left the restaurant, Chun-woo asked, "Sister, would you like to stop by our house?" I had also wanted to visit Chun-woo's house but hadn't said anything, so I readily agreed. We took the subway and then a bus to Chun-woo's house in Hyangdong-dong, near Susaek, where Seoul and Gyeonggi-do meet. I had been there once before. I told Chun-woo I wanted to take the bus back instead of the subway to see the scenery outside, and he agreed. We took a bus from the bus terminal to Lotte Department Store, passing through Hongje-dong, Muhak-gogae, Seodaemun Intersection, Dongnimmun, Red Cross, and the post office at Seodaemun Intersection (which was small in the past but is now a large building). This brought back memories of where I used to live, such as Jukjeom-dong and Bukahyeon-dong. Passing Seodaemun Intersection and the Red Cross, the scene of a North Korean tank destroyed by a UN bomb during the Korean War when I walked to and from Dongdeok School, and the sight of the bombed tank and fallen North Korean soldiers, came to mind as if it happened yesterday. Even though Seodaemun Intersection is now covered by an overpass and looks completely different from its old appearance.

March 13, 2006 – Over 20 Years of Dahn Hak Practice It has been over 20 years since I bought and read 'Dahn Hak Journal' by Lee Seung-hyun, published in 1985, and began practicing alone for one hour every morning from that book. I have consistently practiced for one hour every day, except for special circumstances, healing all my physical ailments and significantly cultivating my mind.

June 29, 2006 (Thursday) – Prayer for Permanent Neutrality and Peaceful Unification – Korean Peninsula Flag June 29, 2006. When I meditate, I visualize a blue Korean Peninsula and chant 'Permanent Neutrality and Peaceful Unification'. It has probably been over 20 years since I started wishing for 'permanent neutrality and peaceful unification,' visualizing a Korean Peninsula without the 38th parallel, as blue symbolizes peace. I am confident that when I become one with the energy of heaven and earth and pray for something, it will come true, because I believe that the energy of heaven and earth is my energy, and my energy is the energy of heaven and earth.

July 5, 2006 (Wednesday) – Conversation with Vana I had a long and serious conversation with Vana over tea. This conversation between mother and daughter will not only affect the two of us, but also the entire family, and furthermore, through those close to us, it will spread its influence to the world. It's truly fortunate.

July 6, 2006 (Thursday) – Dream of a Meditation Garden in Jeju Island July 6, 2006. I plan to buy land by the sea in Jeju Island to create a meditation garden. There, I will heal my own soul, heal the wounded souls of those around me, and contribute to world peace. This thought fills me with contentment and joy.

December 22, 2006 (Friday) – Reason Why the House Must Be Clean December 22, 2006. Tomorrow, after lunch at a restaurant, Jeong-soon and Sejin cleaned our house to invite people over for conversation and tea. I told Sejin and Jeong-soon that my body is the sanctuary of my soul, and my house is the sanctuary of my soul and body, so that place must always be kept sacred and clean.

December 29, 2006 (Friday) – Reason for Participating in Dong-sa-seop Training December 29, 2006. I want to participate in this Dong-sa-seop training because I hope that the 'Shinbaram' (divine energy) that has been dormant in the souls of our people since the time of Dangun Hal-abeoji (Grandfather Dangun) will be reawakened there, and I want to help encourage that.

January 14, 2007 (Thursday) – Inspiration from the Sculpture Park "The sculpture park I visited yesterday gave me such intense inspiration. A panorama of inspiration, even cumulus clouds, unfolded in my mind. I need someone to help me. Let's pray earnestly! Let's meditate! May my dream come true. For world peace. There is a way for all humanity to be happy. I am truly happy".

July 31, 2007 (Tuesday) – Meeting "Spring Day" Song Soon-hyun, the former president of Jeongsin Segyesa, came at 3 PM. We had a two-hour interview. This is how a book about me began. 7+7+07*3=37. Good omen.